Blessing 4

Usage examples of families.

She put me in touch with Aid to Families with Dependent Children, which made it possible for me to attend community college.

And many families, many marriages, are literally fighting for it—not only economically but also mentally, spiritually, and socially as well.

Successful families plan and carry out family activities and organize to accomplish different tasks.

The family mission includes the leaving of some kind of legacy—of reaching out to other families who may be at risk, of participating together to make a real difference in the community or in the larger society, possibly through their church or other service organizations.

We have friends and relatives whose intergenerational and extended families have rallied around them in their struggles with a Down’s syndrome child, a severe drug problem, an overwhelming financial problem, or a failing marriage.

Or they can become involved in significance on a higher level of interdependence—not just within the family but between families on common projects.

This might include families working together in a “Neighborhood Watch” program or joining forces with other community or church-sponsored service projects or events.

This is the essence of true family leadership—not only the leadership you can provide to the family, but the leadership your family can provide to other families, to the neighborhood, to the community, to the country.

This is where you would use the power of Habits 4, 5, and 6 at the mentoring level to create your family mission statement and set up two new structures that most families don’t have: dedicated weekly family times and calendared one-on-one dates.

But as they opened up and leveled, many acknowledged their sadness in this compartmentalization, even abdication, and resolved to become engaged with their families in a number of new ways.

Sometimes families cultivate independent lifestyles that have the appearance of interdependence even though deep within, there is profound dependence.

And if we want to create change in our lives and in our families, it’s not enough to focus on attitudes and behaviors.

In fact, this is one of the things I hear most often from families who are working with the 7 Habits.

Remember how they were unable to achieve the victory they wanted in their families until they really, deeply prioritized “family” in their own hearts and minds—inside out?

But for most of us and for our families, the reality is more like digging a lovely tossed salad out of the garbage dump.