What is "claytons"

Claytons is the brand name of a non-alcoholic, non-carbonated beverage coloured and packaged to resemble bottled whisky. It was the subject of a major marketing campaign in Australia and New Zealand in the 1970s and 1980s, promoting it as "the drink you have when you're not having a drink" at a time when alcohol was being targeted as a major factor in the road death toll. The jingle was written by Australian social satirist, John McKellar.

The product has not been advertised on television for thirty years (at 2015), yet it remains widely known. The name has entered into Australian and New Zealand vernacular where it stands for an ersatz or dummy thing, or something that is obviously ineffective. For example, a common-law couple might be described as having a "Claytons marriage". A knowledgeable but unqualified handyman could be referred to as a "Claytons carpenter". The term can also be used as an insult; e.g., "Sydney University is a Claytons university".